Some old ramblings

<written sometime in 2006>


Nobody knows

What is wrong with her

She seems quiet and withdrawn

Depressed even

  • oh that taboo word –

Her wrists show

Gleaming white scars

Signs of recent self mutilation

Inside her head 

Thoughts rush around

In her scrambled mind

Feelings mixed with vigor tumble

Lusting yearning 

To be released 

Spurt out like water 

From a high pressure faucet

Suddenly

She is falling

Not on the physical plane 

But outside reality

Dimensions abruptly bleeding 

Into one another

Time depth width length

Mixing together 

Seeping into reality

Emotions getting confused with actions

Thoughts spiraling through 

All the while 

She’s falling down

And down

Ever moving faster faster until

-snap!

A noise breaks through 

Her consciousness 

The sharp click of fingers 

Looking up 

Requires so much effort 

On her behalf

So her heavy eyelids 

Drearily opening 

Must suffice

Almost sleeping

Mesmerized 

Caught in the ugly clutches 

Of misery 

Looking into her eyes 

He tries to catch

A glimpse of troubled soul

Within

But these windows are shut

Locked 

An expression passes 

Over his face fleetingly

Instinctual recognition

Of her pain

Yet he understands nothing of it

The boy makes no sound

Heard by her ears 

But sits next to her 

Careful not to get too close

Lest she carry some unspeakable disease 

She knows he is there

With no acknowledgement

Yet wishes the boy was somewhere

Not with her

He doesn’t genuinely care for her

This is known

By both silent people

She’s dying 

Locked in a box

Slowly painfully suffocating

She and the boy stare ahead

Each aware yet oblivious to 

The other’s emotions

They hold the key 

But never unlock 

The chained steel box

They forced her into

The key is shiny 

And new in appearance 

Yet is almost as old as time immemorable

They and the boy have cut out

Her heart 

Left the wound gaping

Open 

Dripping

Cascading a fountain of blood 

Soaking her 

But its pretense

A dream

It’s an illusion

In her mind 

As she sits

Alone
© myself 

Mind Body Spirit festival: Miika

My review of the Mind Body Spirit Festival this June 🙂

The Victorian Pagan Circle Blog

The Mind Body Spirit Festival is held bi-annually in Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane. There are 200+ exhibitors, a (Tarot/Runes/Psychic etc) reading room, spaces for wonderful (free!) seminars/discussions, an open performance stage – and many, MANY sights to see, experiences to be had, and people to meet!

You can check the next upcoming MBS festival(s) –> here.


This is my personal experience and impression of the MBSF held this Queen’s birthday weekend (6th – 9th June 2014) at the Melbourne exhibition centre. This was my first MBS – first festival/expo to be honest – and I loved it! As a solitary Pagan in a “rural city”, I rarely get the chance to ogle new age / spirituality / holistic / wellbeing /etc goodies in person – and here I was warmly encouraged to! It’s probably a good thing I didn’t take a lot of money with me, because I am very…

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When I die…

So, I have decided I want to become a tree after I die.

I always wanted to be cremated, with a tree planted over my ashes, but thanks to Bios UrnI found an easier way for my daughter to keep me close. Obviously, I would want the urn to be planted on our family property (we should have bought one by the time I kick the bucket).