Hurting

Why do I feel so hurt?

I guess it’s not just the betrayal, it’s also the fact that he was the good one. Hypocritical, I know, but obviously emotions don’t give a damn about hypocrisy.

I have made mistakes – at least a couple of big ones – but that just seems to compound the hurt and betrayal. I’m the screw-up, the one that makes mistakes, the one who fucks up and nearly ruins everything. He has always been the good, loyal, forgiving, understanding one – he’s been my rock, my anchor to life and love and happiness.

And then he fucked up.

Now my rock is cracked, my anchor rusted, and I’m left drifting, lost, clinging to what was and hoping for a future that once seemed so solid and sure.

Do I sink or swim?